YOU WANTED THE BEST, YOU GOT SONIC BOOM INSTEAD!!!

Last week, the unthinkable happened.

After 12 years of incessant touring behind no new material, KISS released an all new studio record. And the fucker debuted at #2 on Billboard.

Unthinkable because I had completely given up hope on any new KISS songs in my lifetime. I figured that since Gene and Paul were still making big bank on playing the same setlists that worked for them since reforming the classic lineup in 1995, why mess with a sure thing? And besides, who in this day and age wants new KISS anyway? And could they even scrape up ten or twelve new songs worth recording?

I am happy to say "Sonic Boom" does not suck. It is far from being a return to the glory days of, say "Destroyer", "Love Gun", or even "Creatures Of The Night", but it is not an embarrassment on the level of say, "Crazy Nights" or "Music From The Elder" (which I personally have a soft spot for). It's not a major comeback in the "Death Magnetic" sense of the word, but it's not a "Chinese Democracy"-sized shit stain, either.

The plus side-- No outside songwriters. The eleven songs are all pretty short and to the point. The band actually sound like they were all in the studio together during recording. Every song has an element of classic KISS in one way or another. Catchy chorus, simplistic riffs, very simplistic lyrics.

The minus side-- As competent as Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer are on lead guitar and drums, there really is some kind of spark missing in the new equation. They just can't let it RAWK. Hell, I listen to them and yearn for the reckless abandon of the Eric Carr-Bruce Kulick period. After 35 years, there is no reason for KISS to sound professional and polished like The Eagles. It was never part of their appeal in the first place.

I wish after all these years I could explain why I still care about KISS. It's like if they catch you between the ages of 8 and 15, they put some kind of hook in you that never leaves. They still do things that make me say, "Oh...there is just no way I'll ever like them again" and somehow I end up liking them again.

They may no longer be the same band I fell in love with as a kid, yet I simply could not imagine what the hell my friends and I would talk about if they ended it all tomorrow.

Here they are on Letterman playing the lead off track, Modern Day Delilah. Gene and Dave together at the end of the song are priceless.